Top 10 Things NOT To Look Forward To: Vancouver MLS 2011January 4, 2011 at 5:55 am | Posted in Vancouver Whitecaps In MLS, Whitecaps New Uniform and Logo, Whitecaps Waterfront Stadium | 7 Comments
2011 is no doubt going to be a joyous one for Whitecaps fans, but will take some patience. Here are the downsides:
1. Dreadful New Uniform
Rather than preserving the iconic and classic 1979 uniform in any way the Whitecaps and Adidas came up with a horribly bland and characterless strip. Can you imagine a club like Boca Juniors doing something like getting rid of their classic blue with the yellow hoop in the middle? Could never happen, right? No! In fact the Vancouver Whitecaps did exactly that. The Blue band across the chest is gonzo (along with the corresponding white band for the away uniform). The away jersey is just as boring as the home jersey. When the Whitecaps play in the away jersey they will look like a bunch of World War II Navy sea planes. The only consolation will be that if you squint your eyes with the white home jersey you can pretend you are watching Real Madrid. Too bad they’ll be playing a much lower standard of football! Perhaps its best that we just close our eyes altogether. I have shelled out for my season ticket, but the Whitecaps have lost money from me because I refuse to buy these dreadful jerseys…
2. Awful New Logo
If the new uniform is bad, the new logo is worse still. Rather than reflecting the natural beauty of our West Coast city, the Whitecaps have done a Vancouver Canucks (see the old yellow “V” uniform) on us and chosen a cold geometric logo which has nothing to do with our city or our team’s history. The Whitecaps logo is meant to represent a wave in the ocean, but some of the newbie internal staffers seem to think it has something to do with mountains as well. The last thing we needed was a new team myth created around something Bobby Lenarduzzi’s in-laws supposedly said. The new logo looks more like something out of the German Bundesliga than something which is fit for our West Coast paradise. A naughty yet perceptive friend of mine described the new logo as a “crystalline vagina”. Well spotted, son! I would call those who designed the new logo something quite similar.
3. Plastic grass
While great strides have been taken in artificial grass since the days of Astroturf, (which the Whitecaps used to play on back in the NASL days), nothing beats natural grass. The game just looks different on the plastic stuff, and not for the better, either. Many top players and teams will not play on it for fear of wear and tear on players bodies and nasty injuries. The one correct footballing decision Toronto FC made was getting rid of the plastic grass and replacing it with the real stuff (they still play crap football on it, however).
4. Obnoxious Newbies
Can you imagine sitting next to the guy who never showed up once to Swangard Stadium, because it wasn’t good enough for him, with his brand new awful Whitecaps kit on? God help us long time loyal supporters….
With all of those pubs nearby, the level of intoxication can only go up…
6. Higher Ticket Prices
We have been getting one hell of a sweet deal for years now, with season ticket prices giving us one of the cheapest forms of entertainment going. It was cheaper going to a Whitecaps football match than to the movies, and a hell of a lot more fun to boot! The new ticket prices have been a bit of a shock to many, and it has been a bit of a kick in the nethers to pay for those new tickets. Should I pay the mortgage or go see the footy match? Bankruptcy be damned, I’m going to the footy.
7. No More Swanny
While we complained about it all along, Swangard was our home through 1987 and 2010. Objectively speaking, it is a poor venue for football because of the running track which separates the fans from the passion on the pitch. Mind you, watching from close behind the goal in the Southside has been a joy most football fans in the world could not begin to have. We were able to get close to the action with complete freedom of movement, sing our songs, chant our chants, and socialize pretty much untouched by security. We could even chat with the players and hug them after they scored goals. The new venues will mean more rules, tighter security, less movement, and a more distant relationship with the club and its players.
8. No Soccer Specific Stadium
Vancouver Whitecaps fans must continue the push for a soccer specific stadium. While the new BC Place is going to be great, to be a truly world class football club, the Whitecaps must have their own soccer specific stadium with natural grass. The Whitecaps say their goal is to be in the top 25 football clubs in the world. If you look at the top 25 football clubs in the world, you will not find one that plays on plastic grass in a rented stadium. A top football club owns its own ground and plays on natural grass, period. Owning a soccer specific stadium with a proper grass pitch must be a long-term goal for the club. Keep the dream of Whitecaps Waterfront Stadium alive!
9. Lack of Canadian Content
The MLS rules definitely favour American players. The league has gotten rid of Canadian content rules, because, frankly, Canadian players are generally awful and have sunk TFC’s boat for 4 years in a row now. Lets hope having three Canadian MLS teams provides a boost to Canadian soccer development, because the current crop of Canadian players (and the coaches who develop them) are rubbish. Lets hope some of the Canadian Whitecaps residency players come good, and lets hope the presence of three Canadian MLS clubs raises the level of Canadian football generally.
10. Hyper Commecialization
Be prepared to be merchandised to death. Just as it is with the Vancouver Canucks, a bewildering assortment of merchandise will be available to you to help you rid yourself of your excess money (if you don’t have any excess money to buy merchandise, you will no doubt be able to put it on your Vancouver Whitecaps FC MasterCard, provided by Whitecaps sponsor BMO). If you want a Vancouver Whitecaps FC Reverse Home Mortgage to help you pay for your season’s ticket, you will probably be able to get one of those, too.
11. Poor Coverage by Journalists who don’t Know the Game
Okay, more than 10, but worth mentioning. Watch for some embarrassing clangers and prepare to cringe as local sports journalists try to grapple with reporting a game they don’t know or like.